over and over and over

i was so happy and excited to go to vegas until shit happened.
i never expected to get through it the way i did.
without you or you..or you.

i got to see angela yesterday.
we got really baked and talked.
i love talking with her but i wish
she would tell me more.
i like the way i feel when im around her.
i feel included. never left out.
like i do now.

again and again and again.
when is it going to just stop?
you saved me from this person
now you know this person
you really don't know them at all
you used to hate them
now you love them

this is no fun.
here i come vegas.
wish i could be far away from everything and everyone.
can you tell im so excited?



it takes away from all of me.

time to pretend

i'm speechless.

let's just go.

i love going to far places, but once i'm there i want to go somewhere else.
perhaps back to where i came from? i don't know..probably not.

thank you for being there for me. you're my very best friend.
i love you. i don't know what i'd do without you.
you really brighten my day, you know that?
i'm sure you do.




isn't it so pretty? :D

p.s.
things wouldn't be the same if you hadn't popped back into my life.
so THANKS! ^_^

nobody really knows.

really. i want to get to know you again. i miss you so much.
you're so different now, but i still miss you.
you were my backbone and now we're strangers.
let's be friends again, yeah?

i wanted to smoke earlier but couldn't because it would have been "wrong"
or something like that...which i don't think it would've been.
maybe awkward? but that's about it.

my fucking stomach hurts!!!!!
fuck me.


p.s.
how does it feel?
it doesn't feel good, does it?
i don't feel good.

all day long

i have these up and down feelings about everything right now.

i don't know how to tell you how i really feel about us right now.

fuck right now. i love/hate right now. my eyes are so watery

but nothing comes out. i wish things were so different for

everyone around me. everyone seems to have so much to

complain about. what about me? no one knows anything.

no one cares anyway...so i guess i shouldn't either.

but i do. i'm the listener, not them.



i really really really wish i could just tell you something that has been

bothering me...for quite some time now.

it's hurts my feelings, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

i can't let this happen again to me...you can't do this again to me.

please. you've already taken something away from me, just don't

do it again.



and i'm the bad person? i couldn't possibly be.

thank you for taking me back to where i wanted to be.

i won't tell you...

because...
it's not always just about you.
it's me, my feelings...just me.
okay? good.

sometimes i wish i was alone in all of this so no one
would question anything. if i wanted you to know
something i'd definitely tell you. i promise...not.

fuck!
i hope the lake makes me feel better, if we even go.

i want to come back to this place right here....



i'm sorry i get so mad. i'm sorry i make you mad.
i just hope that when i tell you, you'll be sorry.

i didn't want to seem lame

i'm so sick and tired of this. it kills me inside. i have no idea why.
fucking lame, man.
i'm going to the fair today! with my people.
got rolled in the mountains last night, but they let us go.
it was not funny. at all.
your vacay has been very nice. thanks thanks thanks
i want to tell you something, but i don't know how.




p.s.
i hope you're happy.

it's not right...

it's familiar.
that's how a lot of things are with a lot of people.
yesterday was a good day.
i'm glad we all got to hang out for your birthday.
vegas will be such an amazing time.
i can't wait for tonight, and tomorrow, and the days after that.
my people are theee best.




i miss you upland!!!!

i <3 you i <3 you i <3 you

that secret that we know

i spent an hour with you, could i want anything else?
nope. i'm so glad that you're around for me.
even though you fuck up, but i guess it's ok because you always
make me feel like in the end it will all be ok.
i can't wait to move out next year...things will
be ok. i know it. i'm so lucky to have such a close
friend that's a GIRL. cause i hate girls. no other girl
can come close to you. i promise. you're seriously
my person. i love that i have a sister and a best friend.
they make my days better.

call it predictable.....go ahead.

i'm in love with your honor
i'm in love with your cheeks

i can't wait for the weekend. i can't wait for the end of the month.
i can't wait for your birthdays. i can't wait to spend all my time
with you. it's what i've always wanted and i have it and nothing
or no one will get in the way.

to love is nothing.
to be loved is something.
to love, and be loved, is everything.
i'm telling you, love is all you need.